When Self Care Falls Away There is Always the Puppy
Happy Summer Everyone!
I had every intention of writing about the Solstice, and life/seasonal transitions. I wanted to follow up on my previous very brief blog about burnout but before I could fully re-introduce my own daily practices of self care, my mom had a car accident.
My mom lives only about 8 minutes away from me; I'm lucky. I don't actually see her as much as you might think, because my mother has a much more active social life than I do. She's the extrovert I always thought I should be. She's lively, and active, and funny and a very gifted watercolor artist and teacher. But, we do get together at least once a week, and routinely check in about one thing or another. On Monday morning she called right before my class so I was mildly irritated to have to answer a call when I wanted to get out to the studio. Mom was calling from the ER. She had blacked out, apparently, and crossed route 10, crashed into a utility pole, and woke up when the air bag deployed.
She will be ok, but she is 84 and healing takes awhile. She has multiple bone breaks and there is some question about internal arterial injury. After about 4 days in Trauma at DH, they moved her to a rehab facility, and slowly she is regaining the ability to move on her own, so that she can go back to living independently, but it will take some time.
My house is a disaster. I have piles of paperwork and a list of people I need to follow up with around her continued care, insurance, driving (her car was totaled) and on and on. Teaching is as it always is, a refuge, but I cannot carve the time to practice much myself, and that makes everything feel off. When I am home between teaching and spending time with mom, I find myself thinking I should use those 20 minutes I have before I need to leave again, to clear my desk, to pick up the house. To sneak up into the studio to meditate or do a short practice. But, when I ask myself what I really need, there's usually a voice somewhere saying "to play!" and a willing playmate looking up at me with the most endearing expression. Tiko is our 3 and a half month old puppy and he could not care less about the house or my need to do anything other than run around with him, or let him climb all over me. He is pure joy, this little being, and there is nothing to do but join him when he looks up at me with that dear little face.
the laundry, the bills, the calls and yes, even my mat will be there when I come up for air and I look forward to having a little more time to get my life in order, but the puppy is here and now (literally, he just woke up and I hear Greg moving around with him upstairs so I'll be needed in a minute here). I'm glad he insists that I be here with him. His joy is the best antidote to stress and worry and exhaustion.
For those of you who know my mom (I think pretty much everyone in the Upper Valley knows my mom!), she will be ok, and is getting stronger every day.
Enjoy this beautiful weekend, all.
Love,
Leslie (and Tiko)